Jeff Bezos’ Italian Wedding By The Numbers

Jeff Bezos, Amazon founder and the world’s second richest man, wed his fiancé Lauren Sanchez in a lavish, multi-day ceremony this week in Venice, Italy. The Onion examines the facts and figures behind the event.

4,976:

Number of Amazon fulfillment center workers who fainted on the job to make this possible

25:

Yacht pileup in the Grand Canal

120:

Gladiatorial combatants fighting to death in reception pit

2,500 ml:

Amount of lip filler present

AFU826:

Serial number of warehouse container holding Sanchez’s ex-husband

0:

Childhood friends

2.5:

Kardashians expected to attend

357:

Hours you’d have to work to afford a single centerpiece

45:

Seconds Oprah Winfrey is willing to spend chatting with Katy Perry

10 p.m.:

Time DJ a hard out unless he paid double-rate in cash for extra hour

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