Man cleans shower by using it

A MAN has decided the best way to clean his shower is to wash himself in it.

Lateral-thinking probable genius Martin Bishop, 34, has found his innovative method of shower cleaning obviates the need for expensive cleaning products and personal effort.

Bishop said: “The shower looks pretty clean so I doubt it needs stronger cleaning products than I’m using on myself. Is it actually dirtier than my pits, balls and arse crack? I doubt it.

“With global warming threatening to destroy the planet, my method is eco-friendly and sustainable. You don’t see car washes being scrubbed down and sanitised after every vehicle. It’s exactly the same.

“Sure, the shower head gets a buildup of mildew, but over time that gets pressure-washed off by the shower itself. It’s the same method by which my toilet stays clean, if you catch my drift.

“Come to think of it, if the shower needs extra cleansing I could piss in it. I’ll start doing that.”

Bishop’s girlfriend Sophie said: “Martin’s bathroom is minging. I can’t use that disgusting shower and I have to hold my shits in to avoid using his toilet. 

“We’re only together because I’m too embarrassed to tell my friends that poos are why we’re splitting up.”