Trump’s Military Parade By The Numbers
Saturday, June 14 marks the 250th anniversary of the founding of the U.S. Army, which will be celebrated with a festival and military parade in Washington, D.C. The Onion examines the facts and figures behind the event. 12: Repurposed Mastercard Pride floats 26%: Likelihood tanks cave in city street and plunge into center of Earth […] The post Trump’s Military Parade By The Numbers appeared first on The Onion.
Saturday, June 14 marks the 250th anniversary of the founding of the U.S. Army, which will be celebrated with a festival and military parade in Washington, D.C. The Onion examines the facts and figures behind the event.
12:
Repurposed Mastercard Pride floats
26%:
Likelihood tanks cave in city street and plunge into center of Earth
4:
Military stars being awarded to Kid Rock
200,000:
Attendees who just remembered parades are kind of boring to watch
833:
Tanks it takes to spell out HAPPY BIRTHDAY ARMY AND, COINCIDENTALLY, DONALD TRUMP
9:45 p.m.:
250 Years Of PTSD Fireworks Show
0:
Number Of JD Vances invited
15 to 20:
Sentencing range for protesting the parade peacefully
Priceless:
The smile on that sweet president’s face
The post Trump’s Military Parade By The Numbers appeared first on The Onion.
What's Your Reaction?
