Best thing to do when a colleague cries is to be an oblivious, unfeeling automaton, says Starmer

KEIR Starmer has shared his technique for dealing with emotional women or co-workers by ignoring them entirely and pretending it did not happen.

The prime minister admitted that he has often suffered from colleagues bursting into unexplained tears, often while in conversation with them, and his foolproof technique always halts it within a couple of days at the most.

He explained: “Emotions happen. And sometimes, embarrassingly, there are outward signs.

“It must be awful for those experiencing them, so what I do is carry on as though nothing of the sort is taking place, like a clockwork man made of cogs and gears would. Not that I am that.

“In this way the whole messy business, whether it’s losing flagship reforms, being left by a husband or being left out of the tea rota – all things I’ve seen women cry about – is easy to forget because you never admitted it happened in the first place. It’s win-win.

“Do I cry? Ah, this is one of those politician ‘gotcha’ questions like the price of a pint of milk, isn’t it? Yes I do. I cried at, let me consult these notes, ‘the Gavin & Stacey finale’.”

Kemi Badenoch said: “What were you crying about? Tell us. Tell us. Tell us what you were crying about. Tell us or I’ll beat you up.”