Current Events

‘Advertising Doesn’t Work On Me,’ Says Chosen One Who W...

PORTLAND, OR—Preaching the virtues of breaking free from an oppressive system of...

Watch: Cow caught in flood found alive on Australian be...

A cow was found alive on an Australian beach after being carried up to 11 miles...

Whataburger Sued For $1 Million For Not Holding Onions

A Texas man filed a lawsuit against the fast food chain Whataburger alleging tha...

What To Know About ‘Mission: Impossible—The Final Recko...

Mission: Impossible—The Final Reckoning, the eighth installment in the series, i...

Watch: Norwegian man wakes to find cargo ship in his yard

A Norwegian man was roused by a neighbor in the early morning and alerted to an...

Romantic Teen Stands Outside Crush’s Window Holding Up ...

VAN NUYS, CA—Using a grand gesture to reveal his feelings to the object of his a...

Ashamed Woman Hiding Interest In Country Music Like It ...

CHICAGO—Attempting to keep her browser tab concealed from view for fear her guil...

Kevin Hagstetter

Knowing it was his time, Kevin Hagstetter instinctively crawled under the porch ...

New FEMA Alert Notifies Public Whenever ‘Twister’ Airin...

WASHINGTON—Predicting that the system would save countless Americans from missin...

DHS: South Sudan Deportations A Lot More Humane When Yo...

WASHINGTON—Describing the plan it went ahead with as “absolutely toothless” by c...

Pigeon Fest to celebrate New York's most controversial ...

A New York park is celebrating one of the city's most iconic animals next month...

Trump Invites WNBA Fans Who Yelled Slurs At Angel Reese...

WASHINGTON—Saying how much he had enjoyed watching their outstanding work on the...

Where Everybody Knows Your Flame

The post Where Everybody Knows Your Flame appeared first on The Onion.

Trump Shares Own Experiences As Victim Of White Genocide

WASHINGTON—Saying the plight of white South African farmers affected him on a de...

News anchor Olivia Jaquith completes broadcast while in...

A morning news anchor for a New York station went into labor in the early morni...

Turtle found covered in more than 1.5 pounds of barnacl...

Marine rescuers in North Carolina said they removed more than 1.5 pounds of bar...

Welcome, curious traveler! Our site uses digital cookies (the non-edible kind) to enhance your experience and keep our weird world running smoothly. By continuing to explore, you consent to the use of these quirky bits of data in line with our Cookie Policy. For a deeper dive into our cookie magic, please check out the details in our policy. Enjoy the adventure!