Man destroys sexy mood by saying he’s horny

A MAN has ruined an atmosphere of growing sexual tension by saying he feels ‘horny’, it has emerged.

Tom Booker was on course to have sex with girlfriend Nikki Hollis until he decided to express his arousal with a ridiculous-sounding word that completely undermined the erotic build-up.

Hollis said: “He’d done so well by preparing a candlelit meal and covering our bed in rose petals. All he had to do was keep his mouth shut.

“We were both a bit tipsy. I was flashing a bit of thigh. Conditions were perfect. Then he leaned in and whispered a word that reminded me of Austin Powers. I dried up immediately.

“Why couldn’t he have growled into my ear about being unable to resist me? Heck, I could even have worked with something a bit rough and ready like ‘fancy a shag?’

“I blame myself. I’m always asking Tom to communicate his feelings. I should’ve known that was an open invitation to share his sexual desires in the clumsiest way possible. 

“At least he didn’t say he wanted to honk my tits.”

Booker said: “I know, I’m an idiot. I should have told her I’ve learnt how to load the dishwasher properly. She’d have f**ked me senseless.”