My plans to dim the sun not sounding so evil now, eh? says Ed Miliband

ED Miliband suspects you are all on board with his previously much-criticised sun-dimming technology now.

With temperatures continuing to soar across the UK, the energy and climate secretary is confident that his funding for experiments to bounce sunlight back into space no longer sound like the insane plan of a megalomaniac Bond villain.

Speaking from his volcano lair, Miliband said: “Oh sure, you were all dead against the idea during the fickle spring weather. But now look at you, crawling back to me like the pathetic worms you are.

“I remember how you all slammed me for ‘playing God’, simply because I thought about putting black dust on clouds to block out the sun. My vision of a nuclear winter sounds pretty appealing now though, doesn’t it, as you leave trails of sweat everywhere like big disgusting slugs?

“Maybe I’ll take pity on you all and go ahead with it – if you apologise for calling me an awkward dork and erase that picture of the bacon sandwich from the internet.

“Or I might just sit there laughing as humanity burns. My godlike powers have already gone to my head.”

Mary Fisher from Swindon said: “Typical Labour. I suppose immigrants will get all the cooler temperatures.”