We ask you: what twatty slogan have you got on your barbecue apron?

IT IS oppressively hot, so time to stand over sizzling fat on a red-hot grill while wearing a twat’s apron. But what’s the slogan on yours? 

Julian Cook, broker: “FILL ME GRILL ME BIG BOY. It’s a satire on the patriarchy.”

Tom Booker, traffic warden: “I’ve got LICENSED TO GRILL, YOU ONLY FRY TWICE, THE MAN WITH THE GOLDEN GRILL, and for vegan events QUORNTUM OF SOLACE.”

Wayne Hayes, psychiatric nurse: “BACK ONCE AGAIN WITH THE GRILL BEHAVIOUR. I work the decks and the barbecue simultaneously. I ruin a lot of records.”

Emma Bradford, boiler fitter: “GRILL, INTERRUPTED. Because as well as loving smoked brisket I have long-standing adorable mental health issues.”

Lucy Parry, student: “THE BARBECUENHEIMER. It’s vintage 2023.”