Oasis fans rightfully divested of money better spent elsewhere

INTERNET scammers have performed the public service of removing wealth from Oasis fans and returning it to the wider, non-Oasis-based economy.

More than £2 million recovered from men who had accumulated it despite their only skill being drinking ten pints of lager while wearing a bucket hat will now be redistributed by capitalism.

A Treasury spokesman said: “Huge sums which, without action, would have gone straight to the Gallagher brothers have been diverted to more deserving causes.

“Thanks to the hard work of fraudulent middlemen, millions that could have been spent on a horribly overblown new album is back in the economy. Which could drastically reduce the number of guitar overdubs and cut out the children’s choir entirely.

“If only we’d had such a service when boomers were paying £220 for limited edition Pink Floyd box-sets then Roger Waters wouldn’t be so obscenely rich. Wouldn’t that be a better world?”

46-year-old Oasis fan Steve Malley said: “I was prepared to pay £900 just to be in the same stadium as a man atonally howling ‘What’s the story, morning glory’.

“It’s hard not to argue that money would be better spent almost anywhere else.”