Pete Hegseth Buys Bar Round Of F-22 Fighter Jets
WASHINGTON—Attempting to garner camaraderie from a group of regulars at his local watering hole, Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth loudly announced Monday that he would be buying everyone in the bar a round of F-22 fighter jets. “Guys, the next round of aeronautic defense systems is on me,” said a visibly inebriated Hegseth, twirling his finger around […] The post Pete Hegseth Buys Bar Round Of F-22 Fighter Jets appeared first on The Onion.
WASHINGTON—Attempting to garner camaraderie from a group of regulars at his local watering hole, Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth loudly announced Monday that he would be buying everyone in the bar a round of F-22 fighter jets. “Guys, the next round of aeronautic defense systems is on me,” said a visibly inebriated Hegseth, twirling his finger around in the air to indicate that his fellow bargoers should put their $370 million supersonic stealth Raptors on his tab. “Hey, everyone, raise your missile launchers for a toast! Anyone want to join me in the bathroom to take out a Yemeni village with a drone? No? Okay, your loss.” According to reports, a winking Hegseth also sent a nearby table of ladies a round of tanks.
The post Pete Hegseth Buys Bar Round Of F-22 Fighter Jets appeared first on The Onion.
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