The Onion’s Guide To The Emmys

The 77th Primetime Emmy Awards will be broadcast on Sunday, Sept. 14. The Onion shares everything you need to know about this year’s most lauded TV series. 

Adolescence

Synopsis: A psychological drama about every parent’s worst nightmare: their child being British. 

Nominations: Outstanding Depiction of Boys Being Boys, Outstanding Dramatic Performance—Bloke

Most Memorable Moment This Season: When the camera operator trips and really eats it during the show’s one-shot take.

Andor

Synopsis: Star Wars.

Nominations: Outstanding Intellectual Property, Outstanding Series with Broadly Interpretable Themes

Most Memorable Moment This Season: Cassian Andor (Diego Luna) draining the game-winning three against the Galactic Empire’s starting five.

The Bear

Synopsis: Carmy (Jeremy Allen White) and Syd (Ayo Edebiri) spend the entire season working on a beautiful cake, only for Carmy to throw it on the ground after remembering his brother is dead.

Nominations: Outstanding Smell Mixing,
Outstanding Stunt by a Hot Dog or
Sandwich

Most Memorable Moment This Season: When Syd finally realizes her dream is to beat Bobby Flay.

Paradise

Synopsis: After the president is murdered in the postapocalyptic underground city of Paradise, citizens are legally required to use ironic air quotes when saying the name of their city. 

Nominations: Outstanding Whatever This Is, Outstanding One to Skip if Your Life Pretty Busy Right Now

Most Memorable Moment This Season: Guessing the big twist during the opening credits.

The Penguin

Synopsis:​ That’s really Colin Farrell under there.

Nominations: Outstanding Fat Suit in a Limited Series, Outstanding Non-Batman Guy in a Batman Thing

Most Memorable Moment This Season:​ When the Penguin, during episode six, finally turns into the Joker.

The Pitt

Synopsis: In this high-intensity medical drama, Noah Wyle gets use out of all the medical-term pronunciations he already memorized for ER.

Nominations: Outstanding Intestine Design, Outstanding Hospital Bill—Final Reminder

Most Memorable Moment This Season: In the season finale, a frustrated Dr. Robby (Noah Wyle), tired of being challenged by administrators, slams his fist on the table and yells, “I’m a doctor! I went to doctor school! I have a stethoscope! I’m wearing drawstring pants!” and storms out of the room.

Severance

Synopsis:​ A techno-dystopian office has a surprising number of character actors working there.

Nominations: Outstanding Use of Inside, Outstanding Conversation Topic with Family Who Are Otherwise Strangers to You

Most Memorable Moment This Season: When Mark (Adam Scott) and his computer finally kiss.

The White Lotus

Synopsis: Showrunner Mike White funds himself another vacation, this time to Thailand.

Nominations: Achievement in Characters Starting Out One Way and Then at the End They’re Different, Outstanding Original Song (“Incesta Fiesta!” by the Hand Job Brothers)

Most Memorable Moment This Season: Gaitok (Tayme Thapthimthong), commiserating with fellow resort employees, remarks, “Issues of class and race are so heightened and pointed in a place like this.” 

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