Theatre best sleep man has had in years

A MAN has enjoyed his deepest and most refreshing sleep in recent memory while attending the theatre, it has emerged.

Despite initially dreading the touring production of Hamlet that his wife Laura insisted they go and watch, Martin Bishop was impressed by the restorative slumber that the highbrow cultural experience sent him into.

He said: “They should really mention Shakespeare’s sleep-inducing powers in the ads. Every night would be a sell out with insomniacs.

“By the end of the first act the rhythm of the dialogue had me yawning out loud. Hamlet’s indecisiveness did for the rest and I was conked out well before the interval. I’m guessing there was no climactic explosion or a car chase because that would’ve woken me up.

“My only criticism is that the chairs weren’t really built for having a kip. I reckon I could have entered REM sleep before the ghost of Hamlet’s father appeared if the theatre provided us with chaise longues. Other than that I give it five stars.

“We’ve already booked to see Henry IV for our next date night. It’s three hours long, tells the dreary story of a succession, and leads into an equally somniferous sequel. I can’t f**king wait.”

Wife Laura said: “I owed Martin. I felt like I slept for a thousand years when he took me to see The Fantastic Four.”