This is ideal gilet weather, says gilet wearer

A HABITUAL wearer of gilets has informed all his colleagues that the early autumn chill is the ideal season for the wearing of a gilet.

Julian Cook, aged 44, explained the magic of the garment is that it insulates the part of the body that loses most heat while allowing the arms to move unencumbered, which is key in his position as a value creation analyst.

He continued: “You can unzip it, wear it half-zipped, and slip it on and off easily. It’s like the climate control in my BMW 3 series, but for the human body.

“If we step outside you’re either feeling the chill or trapped in the misery of a heavy coat, while I’m experiencing the literal best of both worlds, darting nimbly around with my heat retained. It’s like I’m the next evolutionary step.

“And they’re stylish, of course. In the office I stick to my smart casual utility gilets, but at the weekend I wear a White Company fleece gilet with a funnel neck. That turns heads.”

Colleague Lucy Parry said: “I asked if they cost less because they don’t have arms. He didn’t like that. I asked if he missed the arms. Again not happy. He cut me off when I was asking if you can get separate arms to zip on when it gets cold.”

Cook replied: “God, why does everyone fixate on the arms? Bloody ignorant.”