Trump specifies he only wants the good rocks

PRESIDENT Trump has informed Ukraine that their minerals deal only covers the good, useful rocks and all the worthless rocks must stay over there.

The US leader only signed the deal after telling president Zelensky that not all rocks are the same, he can tell the difference while other people cannot, and if they send him bad rocks he will send them straight back with interest.

Trump continued: “People, ignorant people, they think a rock is a rock. Not so. There are actually many different kinds of rocks.

“Ukraine, they weren’t so smart. They didn’t realise they were sitting on really excellent, really beautiful rocks. So we’re going to take those rocks as payback for Biden starting this war. That way they won’t have to worry about Russia bombing their rocks.

“These rocks – they call them beryllium, chillium, unobtanium and I think some kryptonite and red kryptonite – will make the US a world leader in rocks. Every other country will be kissing my ass for our rocks, believe me.

“So ignore the shrinking economy, America. Your favourite president secured you rocks.”

Zelensky said: “It was me who told him about the rocks.”