We ask you: which Easter egg are you buying yourself and consuming alone in the dark?

EASTER is here, and with it the opportunity to purchase a large chocolate egg, hide from everyone you know and eat the whole thing. But which egg? 

Olly O’Connor, gymnast: “I buy a big Creme Egg egg then force it to watch as I devour its two Creme Egg children, taunting it before I smash its smug face in. I wasn’t allowed Easter as a child but that’s not caused any lasting psychological damage.”

Lucy Parry, court clerk: “I have a Lindt egg. Or is it a Lindor egg? Oh God I don’t know! I DON’T KNOW!”

Denys Finch Hatton, marine biologist: “My choice is M&S’s Ralph the Cavapoo. I find smugness gives the chocolate that extra savour.”

Jimmy Bates, stag stalker: “The best eggs are Scotch eggs, so I buy a Buttons egg, pack sausage meat all around it then fill it with Glenfiddich. Mmm.”

Donna Sheridan, osteopath: “Eggs are for kids. Instead I consume three separate multipacks of Wispa, Flake and Yorkie Raisin & Biscuit, which by weight is the same.”