Woman drinking large white wine by herself does not know she is solo dating

A WOMAN who has gone to the pub alone does not realise she has taken herself on a ‘solo date’, it has emerged.

Sophie Rodriguez popped in for a quiet drink on her way home from work, unaware that she was actually indulging in lifestyle nonsense made up by dickheads on the internet.

Rodriguez said: “It turns out you can’t have a glass of wine unaccompanied without it being repackaged as commodified bullshit by people who have to document every waking moment of their lives on social media.

“I thought I was just sat here getting a bit tipsy on sauvignon blanc before popping to Tesco for something for my tea, but apparently I’m engaging in an act of self-care by treating myself to an experience usually associated with dates. Who knew?

“I mean, f**king hell, are we really so useless as a society that we can’t spend 30 minutes alone without having to make ourselves feel better about it by giving it a wanky title? It seems we are.

“So no, I did not know I was solo dating, because I’m not. And if you try calling it ‘masterdating’ instead, I will end you.”