Workforce temporarily flooded with teenagers who don’t know shit

THE nation’s employers have been deluged with a torrent of teenagers on work experience who do not know how to do the most basic of tasks.

Britain’s shops, offices and leisure centres are inundated by 15- to 17-year-olds who are there to learn about the working world and are doing so by sitting in a corner on their phones.

Jim Bates, manager of a dry ski slope, said: “I understand why we’re doing this in theory. It’s just in practice that it has no function whatsoever.

“I’ve taken on three teens who it appears believed they would get to ski about for free all day, and instead are resentfully handing out the wrong size boots or not grasping the principles of sweeping up. I’m just not sure who this helps?”

Customer Lucy Parry said: “It’s infuriating. These kids, recovering from months of high-pressure exams, should really be much better at carrying out tasks they’ve received minimal training for.

“If I were them I’d be skipping towards a week in a menial position they’re not being paid for. But instead they’re awkwardly loitering around the place and communicating in monosyllabic grunts. That’s a privilege you have to earn.

“The sooner they f**k off to university and I can complain about them being woke and getting pissed all the time, the better.”