Current Events

‘The Substance’ Snags Oscar For Best Goo

The post ‘The Substance’ Snags Oscar For Best Goo appeared first on The Onion.

Advice from friend's uncle leads man to $100,000 lotter...

A Maryland man took some advice from a friend's uncle and ended up winning a $1...

Japanese park covering just 2 1/2 square feet is offici...

A park in Nagaizumi, Japan, has been officially named the worl's smallest park,...

Artist Profile: Tate McRae

Tate McRae, the artist behind the pop hit “Greedy,” has released her second stud...

Trump Signs Executive Order Making Official Language Of...

WASHINGTON—In a move designed to promote unity and establish efficiency at the f...

NOAA Cuts Leave Wind Chimes As Sole Predictor Of Approa...

SILVER SPRING, MD—As mass firings of career experts and scientists continued to ...

Look: Deputy wrangles loose kangaroo in Texas

Authorities in Texas said a deputy was called out to wrangle a kangaroo seen ho...

Look: Police round up loose iguana in Connecticut

Police and animal control officers in Connecticut were able to reunite a reside...

Lockheed Martin Develops Giant Tactical Rubber Spider

BETHESDA, MD—Ushering in a new, highly advanced era of creepy-crawly warfare, de...

‘Maybe Hot Dog Will Make Wife Feel Better,’ Thinks Husb...

CLEVELAND—In a well-meaning but ultimately futile attempt at emotional support, ...

Cardinal With 3-Foot Vertical Leap Emerges As Frontrunn...

VATICAN CITY—Revealing that he had quickly distinguished himself at the four-day...

Andrew Tate Grabs Some Romanians From Airport Gift Shop

The post Andrew Tate Grabs Some Romanians From Airport Gift Shop appeared first ...

Man Spits Out Blood While Flossing Like Battered Prizef...

HIALEAH, FL—Crimson droplets splattered across local man Cameron Downs’ white po...

Jeff Bezos Sends Note To Whole Foods Staff Forbidding C...

MIAMI—Asserting that many differing perspectives on the fruit were readily avail...

Trump Plans To Sell $5 Million Gold Card Visa To Attrac...

President Trump said he will introduce a new “gold card” visa to attract wealthy...

N.J. dog chases goose out onto thin ice, falls through

A New Jersey police officer came to the rescue of a dog that chased a goose out...

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