Prince Andrew to stand back, again
I have decided to stand back from using certain titles, so henceforth I and the press won't be using 'Randy Andy' anymore. 'His former Royal Highness Randy Andy' is included. I am also ditching my remaining Royal patronages including Pizza Express. My Royal endorsement for Sure deodorant will remain as a necessity as I have, thankfully,learned how to sweat again. I will renounce my attendance at Christmas lunch with the King and will be tucking in at the Hungry Horse in Windsor this year, as...

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