Woman dumped so incompetently she’d rather be ghosted

A WOMAN is suffering through a break-up handled with such staggering ineptitude that she would honestly prefer her ex to disappear without a word.

Emma Bradford admitted she knew soon-to-be-ex Joseph Turner was bad at dancing, looking up from his phone and cunnilingus, but if she had known he would botch ending a relationship this badly she would have encouraged him to vanish without trace.

She said: “We’re on our third relationship summit. I got the idea during the first one. He’s still fumbling his way there.

“He spends an hour reeling off all the reasons I’m too good for him and why he’s a terrible partner for me, then he pays for drinks and we hug. But doesn’t actually end it, then he texts ‘I still really care about you’ and we’re back to square f**king one.

“Compare that to a modern f**kboi who one day simply no longer exists, cleanly and efficiently, leaving you room to mourn and T-shirts to burn. Who’s the real gentleman?

“I need him to end it so I can get on Hinge. I am already on Hinge, but because he’s so bad at this he’s made me the guilty party.”

Turner said: “I could never unfeelingly just disappear from a woman’s life. I still want her to think I’m good.”