Old men in pub do not need words to express their love

TWO old men sitting in a pub in silence have explained that their personal bond is so strong it is unnecessary to ever have a conversation. 

Roy Hobbs and Martin Bishop, both 78, are so finely attuned that their relationship thrives on staring blankly into the fire and occasionally muttering two or three words about the price of bitter or immigrants.

Hobbs said: “Sometimes young lads come in here and look over in pity, clearly hoping they never become like us. 

“What they don’t realise is that when you’ve spent every night together since 1976, you exhausted the last topic of conversation in 1992. There’s literally nothing left to say. It’s very liberating. 

“Our love is so strong I can tell just from a slight movement of Martin’s head or a shift in his posture that he wants his copy of the Daily Express or is thinking about the 1983 FA Cup final. 

“When you first start going to the pub together, you can’t stop talking. But as you get older, your relationship matures and grows stronger. 

“Now I just nod to the telly and grunt something about Myleene Klass’ tits. Martin understands exactly what I mean. I don’t even need to say ‘I love you’ at closing time anymore.”

Barman Tom Logan said: “We had another pair of old guys like that. One died and it took the other four hours to notice.”